Chasing Change
It seems I spend a great deal of my life climbing in and out of large holes. One week I am tossing dirt above my head and a month later I am climbing like mad toward the light above me. When I break the surface I smile at the glowing sun and brush the dirt from my clothes sure that I will never be so naive as to throw dirt in the air again. And this is the cycle. This is my rise and fall.
Maybe it is cynical to say but I doubt my ability to break this circle. Maybe I should practice the hope I search for, maybe I should believe in the mystery I seek. There is nothing constant but change and G-d and yet I doubt my own ability to do just that: change.
And here is who I am: a man who chases after change like a dog follows butterflies unhindered by his inability to capture them between his teeth. Is he deluded by his agility? Dose he deny the butterfly’s speed? Is this a game or is this a matter of life and death? To watch him you are convinced it is the later. Thirsty, excited, living for this moment - for this chase. Then he forgets. I forget. I instantly forget what was important to me. I move to something else and change illudes me. I never chase it until it tires because I am too easily distracted. Life enamors me with her jewels and shiny things. When I do finally remember my butterflys are well rested and ready for another romp through the field.