samuel.bowles.es

Watching you falling is harder knowing where it is your going. Believe me now, believe me later: you’re not so far away. From where you are the things I’m hoping must seem strange and distant: that the hurting’s deeper but the loving bigger. That the lesson’s clearer and the hoping stronger. That with bumps and bruises you’ll continue believing - you.

A lie. A simple lie. A lie that’s bigger than even the people who think they know. It’s bigger than you. And you believe, bigger than most everyone else as well. It runs deep and long. A growing divide between your dreams and who you hope to be. You lied to everyone around you but even more painful - you lied to yourself. A thousand miles from here you’ll wake up and find that the place you’ve come is the place you never thought you’d be. A distance you never thought you could fall.

When the truth comes crashing the questions begging are hard to hear. Whispering beneath this all - listen closely, “Are you a lie? If you can’t believe yourself what’s worth believing? Is there truth for knowing? Will you ever be able to tell this? Is the truth worth having when it’s always hurting?”

Truth is always hurting but I believe this - in the arms of hope & mystery it’s worth enduring. I also know this - when pain is great it’s easiest to hide away, deny the truth again and cover your hurt. So, I only ask of you these two things (but they are not small things).

1) Let me love you. 2) Practice the truth - speak your feelings, tell your story.

Watching you falling is painfully close to home. Painfully close to me. I love you. I don’t say it enough. I love you. I want you to know that it’s true - I love you. I want you to make it through this almost as much as I’m sure you want it to be over. Those are different things. I love you. I am hurting for you. I love you.

Did I mention how much I love you?